


Poker Face

by TheGold3nGamer



Category: Gravity Falls, 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: Brothers, Chuuya Atsushi and Dazai are Brothers, Family, Gen, Gravity Falls Oregon, It took two hours to make the first chapter, Protective Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Protective Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Protective Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Started good, The Journals (Gravity Falls), Triplets, chuuya cusses, not so much in the middle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:46:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29373291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGold3nGamer/pseuds/TheGold3nGamer
Summary: Bungou Stray Dogs in Gravity Falls AU.The Pines triplets- Osamu Dazai Pines, Chuuya Nakahara Pines, and Atsushi Nakajima Pines- get sent up to Gravity Falls Oregon to stay with their great uncle, Fukuzawa (or is he?).Pines triplets- Dazai, Chuuya, AtsushiStan- MoriFord- FukuzawaWendy- KyoukaSoos- KenjiCandy- KyouyoGrenada- KunikidaDeputy Durland- PoeSheriff Blubs- RanpoPacifica- FyodorGideon- ShibusawaTyler- HaruLazy Susan- YosanoMelody- A CowShandra Jimenez- JunichiroToby Determined- NaomiBlendin- KaijiJeff- HiguchiOld Man McGucket- HirotsuBill- Akutagawa
Relationships: Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Poker Face

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I decided I wanted to make a Gravity Falls x Bungo Stray Dogs crossover a month ago and I actually decided to. make it now. It took over two hours to type, so I hop you enjoy.

_“Summer break. A time for leisure, recreation, and taking it easy. That is, unless you’re me.”_

Suddenly, a golf cart came flying off a cliff and through a sign that said ‘welcome to Gravity Falls’. In that golf cart where three boys. On the driver’s side was a short boy with ginger hair. On the other seat sat a boy with brown hair and bandages wrapped around his limbs. Squished in between the two sat a boy with uneven bangs and white hair, with sunset eyes. Behind the fleeing three, an unknown monster was chasing them and tearing down trees in its’ way as if they were paper.

“It’s getting closer!” Exclaimed the white-haired boy as he turned his head behind and saw that the creature was drawing near. The monster then reached its’ hand forwards and almost grabbed the cart, had it not swerved to the side.

_“I’m Atsushi. The boy driving is my older triplet brother, Chuuya. The other boy sitting next to me who’s looking in a pocket mirror and fixing his hair is my other older triplet brother, Osamu (but prefers to be called by his middle name, Dazai). One might be confused and slightly concerned as to why we’re in a golf cart fleeing from a monster that could kill us in one swoop…”_

Suddenly, the beast picked a tree up and through it at the cart, but with enough force that it blocked the path the cart was on. “Look out! A crash could mess up my beautiful face!” Dazai screamed as he pointed to the tree now blocking their path.

“Tch… not before I ruin it…” Chuuya mumbled, but stopped when the cart was right at the tree. Instead, the three brothers screamed.

**“AHHHHHHHHH!!!”**

_“Please don’t worry. There’s a perfectly logical explanation as for what’s going on in this situation.”_

* * *

_“All of this began at the beginning of summer. Everything was normal. I was locked up in my room hiding from the neighborhood bullies. Chuuya was downstairs punching his punching bag, and Dazai was somewhere with his girlfriend. That dude had dated twenty-five different girls, and has hooked up with exes so many times that he has been in a relationship sixty times. I’m not even going to question how a twelve-year-old has managed that. Either way, our parents decided we could use our summer vacation in Gravity Falls where we could be someone else’s problem and put us on the next bus to our great uncle’s place which was in the woods.”_

“An attic for the three od us to share?” Dazai mumbled as he set his bag down on the bed against the left wall. “Atsushi, please take the middle bed. That way I don’t have to wake up and fall asleep looking at a slug.”

Chuuya heard the comment and went for Dazai’s throat. “You take that back shitty mackerel!”

Atsushi knew better then to remind Chuuya about his langue when he was in _that_ mood. Instead, he went over to his bed in the middle and got the goat off it before setting it up for using. ‘They won’t stop arguing…’ Atsushi thought.

He finished and turned around in time for, “boo!”

Atsushi jumped. He knew it was his great uncle Fukuzawa being a pain, but the jumpscare still scare him. His uncle, on the other hand, was laughing his butt off. That is, until he starting choking. In between coughs, Fukuzawa mustered out a, “worth it”. 

Fukuzawa was a strange man, as far as Atsushi could see. He had turned his house into a tourist trap called the ‘Mystery Shack’. The triplets could all agree it was the world’s largest scam, the big mystery about it was that people came. Unfortunately, the brothers had to work there. That part caused a whole nother set of issues…

Chuuya was scrubbing the windows while Atsushi swept the floor. Dazai was _supposed_ to be restocking the shirts. When the two turned to look at him, they saw Dazai give a girl a note.

“Will you go on a date with me? Yes, absolutely, take me now?” The poor, random girl mumbled out loud making Atsushi face-palm and Chuuya rip the rag in half.

“I rigged it.” Dazai told to his older and younger brother who we’re next to each other.

“Dazai…” Atsushi began. “I understand you’re a big playboy and flirt, but can you please take vacation off? For our sake?” Atsushi added, pointing at himself and Chuuya.

“Nah. ‘Sushi, words wont work for the idiot. We have to beat it into him.” Chuuya said, coldly as he cracked his knuckles.

“What?~” Dazai complained. “But we’re in a new town~. With all these new people, I have more options. Plus, when i break their hearts and go back home they can’t get revenge.”

“Dazai…” Atsushi whined. Chuuya added in. “Shitty waste of bandages. Stop flirting with every person who’s a female. It’s creepy as hell.”

As the triplets we’re deep in their conversation, they didn’t notice Fukuzawa walk in. They only noticed he was there when he started speaking. “Alright. I need someone to bring these signs into the woods and hang them.”

“Not it.” Dazai said, then Atsushi, then Chuuya. 

“Not it.” Kenji said as he temporarily stopped hammering wood to try and fix a hole in the wall to say that.

Fukuzawa sighed. “Didn’t ask you.” He turned to Kyouka who was sitting next to the cash register. “Kyouka, I need you to hang up these signs.”

Kyouka looked at him with uninterest. “Stab.” She said before picking up a magazine next to her and reading it.

“Okay then. Eeny-meeny-miney-Atsushi.” 

“Ehh?!” Atsushi squeaked out. “But, in the woods it feels like people are watching me..”

Fukuzawa sighed. “Atsushi, kid, there is nothing strange about this town. Your just being- uh- what’s the word?”

“It’s called paranoia.” Dazai said as if it were the most obvious thing ever.

“Ah. That’s it. Your just being paranoid. The only strange things here are lies guys like me tell to guys like them,” He pointed at a dude buying a lot of merchandise, “to sell them things.”

“Mackerel! You could at least _pretend_ to be nice.” Chuuya shouted before softening. “Atsushi, don’t worry nobody’s there. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll go out with you and put up half the signs.”

Atsushi nodded, and the two brothers headed out.

“Augh!” Dazai grunted. “Now I have to go out.”

* * *

Atsushi was hammering signs onto the trees as the wind tickled his face, arms, and legs. Even though it was summer, it was chilly out, making Atsushi regret wearing a white, short-sleeved shirt with black, knee-long pants. Once was down to his final sign, he hit the nail into the tree when a “clank” sound was heard. Confused, Atsushi tapped the tree with his hammer and realised it was metal. He felt around for a while until he felt a tiny cut, and pulled open a mini door. Inside the tree was a lever, which he pulled and heard an opening sound. He turned around to see a tiny patch of dirt and grass opening up to reveal some type of journal.

“What the-?” He mumbled to himself as he walked over and picked the journal up, blowing off cobwebs and dust. The journal had a golden hand printed onto it with six fingers. In the middle of the hand was a giant ‘3’, written. He turned to the first page, reading out loud what it said. “It’s hard to believe it’s been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon.”

A face of shock took over Atsushi and he turned over the pages. There he saw _‘Floating Eyeballs, Giant Vampire Bats, Gnomes, and Cursed Doors.’_ “What is all this?” He said to nobody in particular. He turned to a random page and saw the words _‘Trust No One’_ written largely. He read the words near it. _“Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I’m being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember, in Gravity Falls, there is no one you can trust.”_ Atsushi closed the book before mumbling, “No one you can trust…” Again. 

Suddenly, Dazai snuck behind him yelling, “At~su~shi~ what’s taking so long? Chibi’s already done.”

Atsushi tried to reply, but was a stuttering mess. “I-uh-book-metal-thing-er-it’s nothing.”

Dazai laughed a little.”Oh? Nothing? Then what’s that book?”

Atsushi looked away before looking at Dazai. “Get Chuuya and lets meet in the tv room.”

* * *

“It’s amazing. Dazai, you said I was just paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has all these secret creatures. At a certain point, the pages even stop. Almost as if the author disappeared.” Atsushi happily exclaimed, rambling on.

As the sushi talked, Chuuya and Dazai shot each other a worried look. One that showed they didn’t believe the book and were worried for Atsushi mental sanity.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings. 

“Well. Would you look at that.” Dazai says, suddenly speaking up. “Truth is, while you two were gone, I got myself a girlfriend.”

Chuuya was the first to speak up. “Really? Again? I swear I’m going to put a sign on you that says, ‘I break hearts’, one day. Well, introduce us to her. Want to know the face of the twenty-sixth girl you’ll ever date.”

Dazai nodded and disappeared for a second before returning. The girl had brown hair covering one eye and a black hoodie and dark jeans along with black tennis shoes. “Guys.” Dazai spoke. “This is Nutella. My new girlfriend.”

“Hey.” “Hi.” Chuuya and Atsushi greeted. A deep, “Yo.” From behind them let them know Fukuzawa had walked in after the doorbell rang.

Just as suddenly as Nutella came, she left along with Dazai. Of course, Nutella ran into just about everything. Atsushi then had to suffer through Chuuya ranting on for half an hour about Nutella being suspicious. Once Chuuya left, Atsushi went upstairs to an empty room and looked through the journal. After some researching, Atsushi realized that the Nutella girl fir the description of a zombie. He ran to his room and told Chuuya.

“Chuuya! Nutella fits the journal’s description of a zombie!” Atsushi said, panicking. 

Chuuya inwardly sighed before grabbing a camera. He was more worried about the person being a creep. But the whole zombie thing gave him a reason to make sure the idiot named Dazai was fine. So Chuuya spent the whole day recording Dazai and Nutella’s interactions.

Through out the day, Chuuya saw Nutella do many weird things. Making weird grunting sounds, smashing a window to open a door, falling over, and moving weird. The entire time, though, Nutella was holding onto Dazai’s arm. Definitely creepy since they were out for five hours. Chuuya had to confront Dazai about that.

“Dazai.” Chuuya said as he walked into the shared bedroom Dazai and Atsushi was in. The former was standing in front of a mirror brushing his hair while Atsushi was sitting on Dazai’s bed, reading ‘Crime and Punishment’. “We need to talk about your girlfriend. She’s creepy as hell, and you only met her today. You should break-up.”

Atsushi cut in. “So do I! I think Nutella’s a zombie!”

Dazai frowned. “Really ou two? That’s not funny.”

“But it’s true!” Atsushi argued. “She’s just like a zombie on the journal’s description.

Dazai shot a glare at Chuuya before looking at Atsushi. “Atsushi, the journals a fake. Stop always wasting yours and my time on stupid things all the time.” He then stormed off.

* * *

Chuuya and Atsushi sat on the couch next to the tv. Atsushi was upset for being yelled at, and Chuuya was angry. He then sighed and looked at the footage he took from earlier and- “Atsushi!” Chuuya yelped.

“What?’ Atsushi said, looking at Chuuya who showed him something on the camera. 

The footage showed Nutella and Dazai looking at something when Nutella’s hand fell off. She quickly put it back on and acted as if nothing happened. 

“I told you she was a zombie!”

“I can’t believe your journal wasn’t a hoax!”

Atsushi glared at Chuuya who mumbled a, “what?”

The two ran out of the house shouting, “Grunkle Fukuzawa!” However, they couldn’t get his attention since he was on tour. Instead they did the next best thing, they went to Kyouka. When they asked her to let them use the golf cart, she shrugged and gave them the keys.

They were about to drive off when Kenji walked up to them. “Here’s a shovel for the zombies. And here’s a metal hoe in case you see a farm.”

Chuuya and Atsushi looked at each other in confusion and Atsushi said, “Thanks?”

The two then drove off. (Only hitting five people)

* * *

Nutella looked at Dazai before turning around and looking at the floor. “Osamu-”

“Remember, I told you to call me Dazai.” Dazai interrupted. “Continue.”

“Dazai, now that we’ve gotten to know each other, there’s something I should tell you. Please don’t freak out.” She took her hoodie off and-

“Your a bunch of gnomes?!” Dazai shrieked. 

“Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down? Oh, by the way, I’m Higuchi. This one’s Jane, Tilly, Apple, and S-Snatches?”

Dazai fell onto the floor, mind coveted in endless thoughts.

“You see, us gnomes are looking for a king. What do you say? Will you marry all one thousand of us and rule the kingdom of Matrimony?”

Dazai looked around before inhaling. “Look. This isn’t going to work out. I’m sorry.”

“I understand.” Higuchi said, looking at the floor. “We’ll never forget you. Because your getting kidnapped.

“What?!”

* * *

Chuuya and Atsushi were driving through the woods when Dazai screamed, “Help!”

When they got to him, they saw a bunch of gnomes tying Dazai up. “What the bloody hell?!” Chuuya shouted.

“Atsushi! Chuuya!” Dazai shouted. “Nutella ended being a bunch of gnomes!”

“Gnomes?” Atsushi repeated. “Didn’t see that one coming.” He then pulled his journal out. _“Gnomes. Little men of Gravity Falls forest. Weakness unknown.”_

“Hey!” Chuuya shouted walking over to Higuchi while Atsushi stayed where he was.”Let go of my brother!”

Higuchi nervously looked up. “Oh, hello. No need to worry. Your brother is just going to marry every single gnome and become out king-” She stopped when she looked over and saw that Chuuya was a distraction, since Atsushi untied Dazai.

The three quickly got in the golf cart and drove off.

“You messed with the wrong creatures, boys. Gnomes of the forest, ASSEMBLE!”

Gnomes soon started popping up out of everything everywhere. Trees, the ground, bushes. They all gathered and piled on top of each other making one giant gnome. They then started chasing the brothers.

_“And now that your all caught up, lets go back, or I guess forward- to the tree.”_

* * *

  
  


The cart swerved to the side, barely missing the tree, but in doing so made the golf cart tip over. The triplets climbed out, now right next to the Mystery Shack, but also cornered by the gnomes.

“Stop this now before we do something crazy.” Higuchi warned.

Chuuya stepped in front of his brothers, putting his hands in front of them. “If I have to fight all of you, then so be it.”

Dazai looked him before frowning. “No. This ends here. Higuchi, I’ll marry you all if you promise to leave my brothers alone.”

Higuchi smiled before hopping down form the top and placing a ring onto Dazai. “Lets get you back for the wedding.” She said, not noticing Dazia reach into a bush and pulling out a leaf blower. He then sucked Higuchi in. “This is for lying to me.” He then turned reverse up all the way and pointed it at the still assembled gnome monster. “That’s for breaking my heart.” He look at his brothers. “And this is for attacking my brothers.” The three placed their hands on the switch and blew Higushi at the monster, blowing them everywhere into chaos, before blowing them away.

Dazai held his hands and looed down. “Chuuya...Atsushi...I’m sorry for ignoring and being rude to you. You were only trying to help me.”

Atsushi and Chuuya looked at Dazai before smiling. They then engaged in a thee-way hug before heading back in the shack with leaves in their hair.

When they got inside, Fukuzawa laughed. “Yeesh. Did you two get in a crash or something.”

The triplets looked tiredly at their grunkle before walking off.

“Ahem.” Fukuzawa awkwardly called, getting their attention. “I seemed to has overstocked. Grab yourself something before I change my mind.”

The brothers excitedly grabbed themself something.

Atsushi got himself a blue pine tree necklace, Dazai grabbed a pack of bandages, and Chuuya grabbed a grappling hook (not going to question where he found that, or why it’s there).

That night, Dazai took his bandages off and add the new ones. Atsushi wrote on a blank page in the journal. _“This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with some people, you realize they’ve probably always got your back.”_

Chuuya laid across the room. “Hey, shitty mackerel, turn the light off.”

Dazai then produced to grab Chuuya’s grappling hook to burn the candle out, breaking the window in the process. Atsushi laughed, and chuuya sighed, too tired to argue. 

_“Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked?”_

“Beep beep” The sounds of the out-of-order vending machine made as it’s buttons were pushed. It suddenly opened up, being a secret door. Someone snuck inside, making sure nobody saw.

[ Bungo Stray Dogs anime in case you haven't seen. ](https://www.crunchyroll.com/bungo-stray-dogs/episode-1-fortune-is-unpredictable-and-mutable-702635)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so very much for reading. UwU


End file.
